Let's try this again

Ok, so, as perhaps you expected, I haven't given any attention to this blog.

I attended a conference/retreat this weekend (YES, over Easter weekend...) that focused on Reflection, Renewal, Resiliency, and Re-Creation - all focused on renewing and restoring our passion of teaching. Many teachers leave the field after 5 years or less - this is due to many things. Many point to the low compensation, but the research shows that teachers leave the field as they feel unappreciated and there is a high level of burnout. As part of one of the exercises, I wrote a poem. My first poem since I was "forced" to write one as a student. I'm going to share it below - mostly to have it available for me to read as I continue on this journey.

I'd like the blog to evolve into more of a personal journal for me. I tend to write very in a very narrative fashion - even in my postings for my online class. So maybe spilling it onto the page will be cathartic and allow me to let these strong emotions I am feeling OUT. And allow me to move on and move forward.

So, here you go - my first poem.

Scared

Those who know me
say I was born to teach
A natural, gifted, courageous
So, why is it so hard?

I give my time, my mind
my soul
I GIVE
But do I teach?

I am told, reminded, and encouraged
to levy my expectations
That is not who I am
I want to be perfect
But I am not

I plan, and plan
and then I plan some more
I give and give
but I forget to receive

I give to my students
I miss my son's laughs
and cries
I miss my family
I miss myself

I know I am meant for this life
To survive this journey,
I need myself

So who am I?
Friend, lover, care-taker
supporter, counselor
TEACHER

But mostly, I am scared.